Celebrating Real Life Marriage

"Left my wallet at home." 

"Have we used up that asparagus in the fridge?" 

"When will you be home?" 

"Here's the recipe for dinner tonight."

This is just a sampling of the many thrilling text messages my husband, Jason, and I exchange. I know, we live fascinating lives. But today, I'm feeling celebratory that our love has matured to the point of texts about dinner and groceries and mundanity. That kind of love is worth celebrating. 

Love inevitably changes as it matures. There was a time when I was afraid of that change, uninspired by the boring, tense marriages depicted on TV. (This was, of course, before I fell in love with my favorite TV couple of all time, Lily and Marshall.)



I recently read a piece in The Week that brought the difference between my pre-marriage beliefs about relationships and my current knowledge into sharp relief. 

When life starts to happen, you learn a lot about who your partner is. It’s no longer Saturday night all the time. Adulthood can feel like a string of Mondays. Once you’ve moved through a patch of real life with someone, you learn a lot about the depth of their kindness, the strength of their integrity, and the staying power of their sense of humor. It’s then that you stop sweating stuff like the ice trays.
— Annabel Monaghan

If any part of my life has felt like a string of Mondays, it's been these first months of my second pregnancy. I've had to eat every word I ever spoke about pregnancy being easy for me (and then throw them back up again). But in all the Mondayness and nausea and fatigue and irritability, Jason has proved again to have the patience of a saint. I could write you a laundry list of the things he's been doing to buoy the family up while I've been running to the bathroom, but it's more to the point to say he's been pulling double duty in a big way. (And praise be, because... well, I'll just let you imagine how it is for a nauseous person to change a blow-out poopy diaper.)

Now that I'm finally feeling closer to normal, I decided it was time to say thanks. Because love like this should be celebrated. 

I took him on a surprise date, bought him a water bottle he's been dreaming of, and took the time to say, thank you. Our waiter asked us what we were celebrating, and we answered honestly: "Just us." 

Saturday nights can look closer to Monday nights than ever these days, and we're not flashy or fashionable. Sometimes we're barely presentable. But we're making a life together, and I wouldn't have it any other way.